yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
