Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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