Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
