nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
