How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
