let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
