just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So vagazzling was a success
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
