Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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