I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
