saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
