fuck your aforementioned shoe
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
