Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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