Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
