Who wears a wallet chain?!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
