And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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