guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
is wine microwaveable?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
soo... how was my night?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
