i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
