He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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