drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So much Jack, so little girl.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
