They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
