Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
