dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
