I bet he comes in French.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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