Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
