I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
