Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
