How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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