So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
