you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
