Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
