I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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