the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
