I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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