I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
