My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
