sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize