I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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