fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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