Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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