I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
