I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
