let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
