i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
