P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
