Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
