so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
