he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
