so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
