i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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