Kiss
Puke
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
