Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
