I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
