Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
