I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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