hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
