puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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