I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
