So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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