its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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