I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You were trust falling into bushes
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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