do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
