just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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