you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
