Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
